Just being thinking..........

I have had a lot of time to think lately...and not very many to talk to. So I just thought I would try to write some of this things down..be to rant or feelings of my heart, or just weird random things that run through my mind the nonstop part of my body that is always going. over the years I have realized that my brain is truely my own and none other like it. I think it has always worked different than everyone elses. the reasons being I really don't know, but I feel there has been many things that have effected my thinking. I'll just live it at that...oh I will add that I will be typing with out spell check as I've lost that and have no clue on how to fix it. as when I used Jeff's instruction it tells me I can't do that. yes it is right I don't know how. so be that and life goes on. I say computer have there ups and down. it is a great way to stay in touch with others and i like that part. But if you have never been taught what it do it makes hard....but I've been think alot about my lifes adventure. I have many stories in this near 57 years of life. I must admit it has been a good life, over all I'm very happy with all the things i have been giving. there are really no words to say of all the joy this life has giving me. In my eyes and heart I have perfect children!!! in everyway there is not a thing i would ever want to change in anyway at all. They have become people that i sometimes have a hard time in realizing they have gone beyound my wildest dreams for them. I feel they each have the life they are meant to have each with the perfect mate for them. then the best thing is all my grandkids. they have giving me. again I never in all my life knew of such a love as the love of a grandchild. i feel I'm the richest person on the face of this earth.. I'm sure many would laugh or disagree with this and see that I really have nothing much of worldly worth..or worldly objects. or much of $$$ worth. So I wonder why I have the feeling of that I have more than many others with all their worldly things. I think I'm just like a more simple life. were our neighbors are truely friends and at least talk. that is one of the very hardest things to me about being In SLC, Ut. I came from the HEARTLAND where everyone has a hello or a wave on the Highway. always a greating. but if you speak to someone on the sidewalk here they turn the other way. I like to say hi to most everyone I meet when out walking in my neighbor hood. I would say it's about a 10 to 20% chance they will even speack. I really like when they give you the look like how dare you speak to me. or I'll never forget the nice sun 80 degree day when in passing I said in passing it sure is a nice day to a guy. he said it was to hot. i say it feels like perfect weather to me. at least there is not 6 ft of snow on the ground and walking in knee deep snow freezing. his reply was 'cut your tongue out"! now that was a bit harsh. to a sun lover like me. I realized it must be some kind of 'brain freeze" some of this folks have. they have only know cold freezing weather. they know no better I understand. but please realize there are some of us out here that cold really hurts the body give me sunshine and clean air please...which takes me to the lovely weather we have been blessed with this year mid feb and no piles of dirty snow in my yard. and the air has not be in the red zone we have stayed in the green and abit in the yellow but that is much better than being in the red where the only next color is black. hope I'm not here when it gets to the black zone. I know I'm really weird. But I like to think that the weather is just one of the biggest blessing I have been giving this winter. I know I know I'm about the only one in this valley that feels that way. but Ill just keep smiling on the warm days. I have been outside doing presping things in the yard it has felt great to set in dig in the dirt clear back the leaves of fall and see the new growth of spring. as I puttered around the yard I thought a lot about the 8 1/2 yrs that I have been here at the walkerhouse. when I got here it was a bit sad of the no yard space. and most of the dwhat I would call plantablee space was covered in rocks. lots and lots. of gravel type rocks. everywhere. the only growing thin was rose bushes grapes and a cherry tree and a aspen. some nice brick flower beds around the front and sides but the only things there was some ugly pokey evergreen bushes that have no business in a flower bed. which were root bond covered in about 3 inches of rocks...of there was some mint and violets and vince minor lots..perwinkles..oh and how could I ever forget the only mud hut teepee in the area what any eye sight lol over the years. I have moved a lot of rocks and try to use the small space the best I could. there are still a a few areas I've not fixed. but I have really enjoyed plant different things. and ever year work on a new spot. I feel I have made an improvement of some type not sure if anyone else cares. but it really makes me feel good to know what it was and to see that it is a bit better and I have left my mark. I like to try and do that. but to seems most places that I have done this in the past most do not even exist any more. so it makes me wonder how long will my mark last here. Or will anyone even notice. that is where I have my doubts. as does anyone really care or is it gjust for me. but I'm really hoping that someone else is enjoy the beauty of the flowers. or the sound of the the wind chimes.. one thing that did bring a big smile to my face is the outside lights as I have been a big fan of all kinds of string lights. at all times of the year, (red hearts right now) and have used them to light my back yard for a few years now as we have no outside light. don't like dark back yards. I like to see my space..anyway. I have noticed lately how a few other folks in my hood are going the same thing. so that made me smile inside. in thinking maybe by letting my light shine. I have inspired someone else to do the same. I knkow for a fact that 2 ladies down the hill have told me in the past how they enjoy my lights when out walking their dogs. they started about a year ago changing their lights with the seasons. as I have helped them pick out just the right lights in the past at work :) so I think I shall just keep basking in what I see as my blessings and I will keep riding this thing we call life, and do it the best I can and I can look back and love all that I have been given when I truely see that I feel the riches I have. there is no world price. I have this crown I wear upon my head that is covered in jewels beyound manything of this earth. I wear it very proudly too, but I try to keep it a hidden secret...so here is a few of my thoughts...but as I've learned resently I should never question the why's in life. as if you do you waste a lot of time. As most of my life i feel it has all been just a bunch of unanswered questions. but I'll chalk it up as my own lifes lessons learned. yes i know I have to learn everything the hard way and run it to the same brick walls over and over. Thanks Jeff for making me understanding that. So I think here on out. I shall take the advice of a dear friend of mine she told me 9 years ago.. the world is like a big ocean. to go out there and catch that big wave of life and ride it the best that I can. yes at times you may get tossed upon rocks, reefs, or pounded on the sand or even get caught up in the under current and think you will never surface to catch your breath. or you may just ride it smoothly all the way into the peaceful beach. what ever the the wave. you will come back to shore sometime. then you can just get back on that board and go back out to catch the next wave of the ride of life, that is if your world is an ocean, and you hang on tight to your board. and it helps. if you can at least tread water, better if you can swim if not get a life jacket.